A Part of Me Died that Day

partofmediedI’ve changed since my incident in October.  There’s no doubt about that.  I can feel the change inside and I firmly believe that I’ve changed my personality as well.

It’s hard to pinpoint what actually changed, but something inside died that day in October.  It wasn’t me obviously.

Some might say that I’m exaggerating, but I was pretty close to the tunnel and might have glimpsed at the light at the end.  During that brief moment of spiritual connection, part of me died.

Perhaps a bit of my soul went over to the other side and came back revitalized.

So, what changed/died?

  • my perspective of life
  • my perspective of what is important
  • how to manage the stress at work
  • how I love my family
  • my patience towards people
  • my desire to help others
  • learning to accept God
  • enjoyment of mentoring others
  • ability to drop burdens quicker

From a health perspective, I feel stronger than before the incident.  Having lost 50+ lbs has made my body stronger and my blood levels are with normal ranges again for cholesterol, pre-diabetes, fats, etc.

tunnel-with-lightMy heart is still recovering and I still feel anxious about elevated heart rates, but I guess that is fairly understandable considering my adventure.

One thing is certain.  I’m not the same person I was before the incident.  Getting close to crossing over has certainly changed my personality and ability to love.

I love and appreciate people much more, and filter out the noise that previously would’ve pissed me off.

Almost dying has made me a much better person, and I do not miss the piece that died!

If you had a near-death moment, did you change too?

The love for my wife and kids has increased tremendously, although I’m still learning how to show that better.  In my mind, I want to hug them all the time, talk to them about their day, play Lego with them and just be an awesome dad.

Unfortunately, daily activities prevent me from doing this to the extent I want, but that will change as I learn how to better balance my parental duties.

It will get better.  We are constantly learning.

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