It’s a pretty known fact that most men hate most kinds of shopping, mainly because we know that we end up carrying all the bags and we worry too much about the devastating impact these euphoric moments can have on the credit card.

Personally, I’m always contemplating how I could sell myself in order to support my wife’s shopping spree, but somehow I don’t think many women (or perhaps men) would fancy a slightly overweight pole dancer at their next hen night.

What I dread the most is walking up and down the various floors, trying to find a few pieces of clothing or shoes, see how these fits and then walk to the next shop.  At times I feel like a mule, and drag my feet while making donkey sounds – let me just say the missus is not amused with that, especially the kids attempts to copy me.  Before you know it she has 3.5 donkeys following her, all looking equally miserable.

The first thing that I normally target is an area where I can sit down while my South American flower does her fashion show.  It’s not long until the entire gang sits on one chair or are making faces in front of the mirrors.

I guess my son has seen what happens as he’s starting to adopt some of my habits.  He has gradually developed a phobia for shopping.  And, it doesn’t matter if we are shopping for him.  We end up dragging him screaming into the dressing rooms by his feet and fingers grasping on to anything to hold on to, much to the amusement of onlooking shoppers and yet to the horror of the shop workers.

We have developed excellent techniques with our son for trying on clothes VERY quickly, without too much noise.  The most important thing parents need to learn is the correct size their kids use.  That will save oodles of sweat and tears, not to mention not being approached by shop security.

So, the other day we attended a parent teacher meeting for my son, and the teacher started to talk about field trips.  She had noticed that our son DID NOT want to go into any shops and wondered if that was a normal behaviour.  In fact, he apparently became increasingly agitated as they approached the shops and would do anything in his powers to go the opposite direction.

The teacher was slightly concerned with this behaviour, but I coldly replied “the boy hates shopping as he fears that he will either have to try clothes on or will have to carry all the bags.  it’s normal male behaviour!”.

Thankfully the teacher burst out laughing immediately as she actually recognised a similar behaviour in her on husband.

It’s a male defines mechanism 🙂