Have you tried a ride in an amusement park, and totally regretted it as the ride started?
I know you have!
Listen, we’ve all tried to impress a girl or ourselves at some point in our lives. We have these tiny moments of bravery where we are convinced we can do anything. Only to regret it quickly, when it is too late, and then we have to pretend to enjoy it.
During those insane moments we should be awarded an Oscar or some other shitty award for worst acting. We are white-knuckling the ride, inches from passing out and yet laugh hysterically while drooling.
Most of my “heroic” moments have been while slightly intoxicated or some dumbass bet with my mates. Although the latest incident where we had a slight misjudgment as parents.
We visited Six Flags in New Jersey, with all the kids, and we had a blast. It was the first year where we could try all the rides we wanted as all the kids were old and tall enough.
During our family laughter and insanity, we dared ourselves to try El Toro.
Well, the name and pure size of the ride should’ve made us realize our not so cool idea, especially when we passed an enormous sign of why you should avoid this ride (see picture insert).
it’s a towering structure made from wood and has plenty of drops, turns and of course the mandatory picture moment where it snaps riders in their moments of absolute terror.
Please note, the 2nd image says ‘Heart Condition”, which would include me as I’m a heart warrior.
Nevertheless, we walked through the entrance and started to queue for what became a tournament in fear and screams. Obviously, we survived 🙂
I actually think we managed to get in the front car, although my memory of the ride is rather spotty and I might have blanked out the experience in parts.
The firsts 20 seconds of the ride is actually good. You gently ride around the first track, with nothing scary at first. Then the next 2 minutes of the ride challenges your mental state, your purpose in life and your vitals.
We slowly start going up and then take a slow turn to face our maker. I looked forward but the track was gone and suddenly the cart just fell down with insane speed. It felt like a vertical drop and as if the cart was going to take flight.
I looked at my 14-year-old son and he was not impressed either. Fear forced him to keep his eyes and mouth open, so he had no choice but to swallow the insects that hit us with a million miles an hour, while also stare down El Toro.
The structure is made out of wood so as the cart twisted and turned on the tracks, the wood structure gave little sounds of movement too. It made the ride even scarier.
Honestly, I think I made have peed a little, as we hit three very large and fast drops, all while we hit a cruising speed of 70mph.
Finally, the ride ended and we slowly left the ride. We were all quiet. No one dared to talk about what just happened, but I think we all realized that it was a stupid idea.
As we left the El Toro site, we started to breathe normally again and then the panic laughter came. We hugged and laughed, and started running away from this devilish ride that stole a few minutes of happiness from us.
We had done something crazy as a family. We had shared something terrifying as a family. We bonded as a family … and blamed each other for this rather stupid idea.
I was relieved that we tried the log ride afterward as it would soak my shorts with water so the pee could be washed out LOL
Would I do it again – abso-fucking-lutely not!
My heart rhythm felt ok throughout the ride. My Apple Watch did show elevate heart rhythms during the ride, and no warnings from my heart monitor thresholds. Still, I should have followed the instructions and not tempted my faith.
I learned to pray that day!