From Ghoul to Human

At the “height” of my heart disease, I had developed deep black circles around my eyes.  Obviously, not real circles and they normally are under your eyes.

Apparently, that is a very normal side effect of having heart problems.  Or so I’m told.  Several people I’ve met with heart challenges have all had dark circles, so something must be true.

What makes it worse is that your skin is rather pale or grayish during the heart incidents, and those two combined makes you look like a ghoul.

festerIt’s perfect for Halloween.

It’s cheap make-up and you can practically dress in any outfit and look scary.

Fester from ‘Addams Family’ spring to mind, and that is what I looked like for months.  At least 6 months of ghouls demeanor.

For me, it was embarrassing when meeting people, and I knew people would stare or comment that I look tired.

pale I’m still young and should not look this worn and old!

It made me look sicker than I actually was and it was heartbreaking and depressing to see my face in the mirror.

I know I’m not a Brad Pitt or some cool looking dude with perfect skin, but that does not mean that I do not want to look nice for my family and wife.

I’m sure other parents at school stared at me and I wonder if it affected my kids to a point where they were worried about hearing funny comments about their dad.

I honestly considered wearing dark sunglasses or some makeup.  The latter would’ve to look utterly ridiculous and it would have been impossible to find any color that matched my pale skin.

I can happily share that as I recovered, so did my complexion and dark circles.  Of course, the sun helped to get some color, but the dark circles have literally faded away as my heart healed.

It is a magical transformation and the body works in wondrous ways.

  • My ghoulish appearance faded away
  • My confidence came back
  • My smile came back
  • My ability to walk up straight grew

It may sound silly to you, but that is how I felt and how it affected me.

To my fellow heart warriors.

Keep up your hard work and focus on your recovery.  Your ghoul face will fade away as you heal.  Don’t worry what people might say or think as that will also impact your path to recovery.

As a good friend once said, “a positive mental attitude makes a huge difference”.  Back then I just laughed, but now I know what she meant and can absolutely confirm that it helps with your recovery.

Not too sure what I should dress as for Halloween this year, but in honor of “Friday the 13th” 40th anniversary I might celebrate as being dressed as the gore master himself Jason.

Have a great day - you look great!

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