The joys of being a house owner comes hundred fold when sitting on the back porch smelling the BBQ aroma of frying meats and having a glass of home (almost) brewed moonshine. All while the kids are playing yard games, wife is standing in the sunbeams gloving of utter gorgeousness and Mumford & Sons‘ tunes are streaming from the bluetooth speaker. Weather is of course fantastic, warm, but not flesh scorching.
To be absolutely honest, being a home owner can certainly suck at times. There’s always something that has to be fixed and staff in the local Home Depot are becoming your only social life. Water leakage, door handles sticking, shower head breaking off, toilet clogged due to excessive toilet paper usage by 5-year-old, shower door dropping off ledge and not to forget the outdoor areas.
You know you are in trouble socially when Home Depot staff are befriending you on Facebook, and greeting you at the local ShopRite.
The latter can be an adventure, especially if you own a small forest like we do. We never know what we might find and if it is from an unsolved crime scene.
A few days ago I decided to put on my responsible house owner and father hats on, and do some manly stuff around the house – literally around the house, as I needed to cut the grass, blow some leaves, pull some weeds and pick up dog poop.
Two dogs equals a large amount of natural fertilizer kids step in!
The cool thing about this was that I got to play with all my man toys; lawn mower, weed wacker and backpack blower … all my favorite power tools that makes me feel masculine.
This was the first time I was attempting to cut our lawn, and something that had not been done since last fall, when the previous owner vacated the premises. It had grown a little wild to say the least, to a point where I had to empty the grass cutting collector after 2-3 runs. The grass for thick and moist, blocking the flow at times, and it was physical labor my body was not use to, and I was sweating profoundly.
Suffering from acute dehydration, I knew I had to stay hydrated and emptied a few gallons of cold water, but it was still very hot out.
After my lawn adventures, I moved on to weed trimming, followed by clearing leaves and grass cuttings with my power backpack blower.
It was an awesome 3 hours of solid work, enjoying the great outdoors, and I was proud of my achievements as I sat on my deck look (and smelling) the newly cut lawn.
However, something was slightly off. My body was tingling and I was a little dizzy. It was a very strange feeling and something I haven’t felt since Shaun T hammered my body to smithereens. Not a very pleasant feeling.
But, I got a deserved shower and we headed off for dinner out with the family. Thankfully my wife insisted on driving and as we went on driving my poor body started to show further signs of exhaustion.
It was probably a combination of exhaustion, dehydration and lack of food that caused my body to react this way. Or, just the fact that I’m getting older and perhaps this was a near-death experience. I was seeking comfort in my family, but at the same time attempting to hold up a strong appearance for my kids. Dad is doing just fine!!
Knowing my body fairly well, which I should after 40+ years, I simply needed to replenish my batteries. What better way than eating spicy Mexican food, flushing it down with full blown non-diet Coke?
Gradually my body was recovering, although it took much longer than anticipated and I have come to the realization that I’m not a a young man anymore. It was pretty obvious that I had a nowhere near-death experience. Any man in my age would suffer from 3 hours of heavy gardening work, despite a good friend of mine completed the Spartan Race as #10 in his (our) age group, which is a lot more demanding than gardening.
Gotta go! Shaun T is calling me on my cell!