I originally found this somewhere on the net, just in Danish, and took the liberty of translating it and made a few minor updates.
The first post (this one) explores the female behaviors in this at times complex showering ritual. Let me be clear, this post is obviously intended to be humorous and is not 100% accurate and does not reflect all women’s shower routines.
Read this as if you are the woman;
- You take off your clothes and calmly places the clothes in the dirty laundry bin; split into colored and white piles.
- You put on the bathing rope and make your way to the bathroom. If you, on the way to the bathroom, bump into your partner, then you quickly cover yourself and change into a running pace.
- In the bathroom, you move in front of the mirror and explorer your body. You let your stomach area relax, only to give out how fat you are!
- You go into the shower. You reach out to get the washcloth for your face, your, arms, your legs and the bag; and the file for the hardened skin underneath your feet.
- You start washing your hair with shampoo containing avocado, honey and 83 different vitamins.
- You rinse your hair
- You wash your hair again with shampoo containing avocado, honey and 83 different vitamins.
- You rinse your hair again
- You put conditioner in your hair, the one with avocado and honey, and leave it there for 15 minutes.
- You wash your face for 10 minutes, the one that contains pear, until your face is as red as a boiled lobster.
- Then you wash the rest of your body with soap that contains nuts and raspberry.
- Next, you rinse the conditioner out of your hair, which takes 10 minutes – you want to be absolutely certain that the conditioner is rinsed out
- You gently shave your armpits and legs, but decide to use an epilator for the bikini line.
- You scream when your partner turns off the hot water – for fun of course
- You turn off the water
- You shake gently your body, while inside the shower unit, to remove excessive water
- You step out of the shower and use a towel the size of Africa
- A smaller towel, the size of central Europe, is wrapped around your head
- You carefully examine your body for small hairs, sits and spot … and attack these with your fingers or tweezers.
- You make your way back to the bedroom, using the bathrobe. If you, on the way to the bathroom, bump into your partner, then you quickly cover yourself and change into a running pace.
- You then spend the next 45 minutes on getting dressed, 14 minutes on putting on lotion all over your body, a further 8 minutes on drying your hair and finally 12 minutes on putting on make-up
The point of the story; women spend an awful long time when taking a shower and getting ready. It shows great attention to detail and their well being. And, this only deals with the daily routines and not when women are going out.