Public Humiliation

…by my 8 year old daughter.

It happens to all parents.  Kids make a scene somewhere, which makes spectators wonder if they have family problems at home and if child services need to be involved.  It normally involves kids throwing a tantrum while shopping or spending time in an amusement park.

For some reason, kids believe that they are fully entitled to throw these little attacks. They know they most of the time will win important battles against their parents.

We’ll get them back when we get old.  One of my evil schemes is to fart in public, when I’m an older man walking with my adult kids + grand kids.  But, that’s way into the future.

The public humiliation that happened to me was of a much lesser severity.  Well, at the time it happened I wasn’t too pleased being where I was.

While grocery shopping the other day, with all the kids and my wife, we were strolling down the various aisles.  It’s probably the most expensive and yet efficient methods for getting your supplies; you buy stuff that you think you might need, instead of buying what’s on the actual must-buy list.

As we approached the hygiene aisle, the kids were looking for toothbrushes.  Suddenly, my 8 year old daughter screamed from one end of the aisle “DAD!  Look, we can get adult sized diapers for you. Aaawesome!!”

You can only imagine how quickly people started to look strangely at me, while other shoppers smiled sympathetic to me, but it was totally apparent that they were laughing their arses off inside their evil minds. My wife, on the other hand, was roaring of laughter…

To make matters worse, my daughter then pulled down a pack of these adult sized diapers from the shelf, only to drag down a few other packs.  I ran towards her to prevent an avalanche of adult diapers falling on top of her.  Too late!  About 10 packs came tumbling down.

Calmly I placed the packs back on the shelf, pretending everything was cool, and didn’t notice the “kind” elderly shop assistant arriving.  He was indeed very kind, but it was also evident that he knew these diapers well.  As he was bending forward I could see the rim of a large diaper.  If he had been a teenager, then it would’ve looked like cool boxers, but don’t think this dude was that hip.  It’s also possible that I was merely seeing things and that this person wasn’t using diapers.

At least I was dealing with a person who knew the products and quickly placed the packs back on the shelves in the right order.

I thanked the elderly shop assistant and continued my shopping.  I couldn’t help feeling that people were staring at me with some kind of pity, probably thinking “poor young man, having to use diapers at such a young age”.

In hindsight, it wasn’t a bad experience at all and rather amusing to be honest, but that’s easy said now it’s behind me.

As some smartarse (my wife) said to me “well, at least you know you can get them”.  So true.  Perhaps I should buy a dozen for her 40th birthday!

Have you been humiliated by your kid lately?

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