My fitness level has consistently dropped since leaving primary school. I owe it to myself and my family to get back in shape so I can play tag in the garden or play ball in the street without collapsing and panting frantically after 28 seconds of pain.
Now, there are many different fitness programs out there and I could have selected a fitness program from a long list of well-known fitness freaks and styles, such as Fonda, Carmen Electra, Hula, Zumba, Taebo and of course Sly himself.
The alternative was to sign up with the local gym, but as a parent this is just not going to work. Once I’m home, after work, I’m not leaving again and there are too many chores around the house. It’s also important to remember that I have a spine like a boiled noodle when it comes to pushing myself into the car and going to lift weights … plus, the stench of sweat in many of these places is not something I fancy.
I therefore decided to buy a fitness program. One that I could attend and do in the comfort of my home, much to the amusement of the local window stalker and neighbors.
But, I didn’t just pick any shitty fitness program. No, I picked Insanity with Shaun T. I want that damn T-shirt, so I can show the World, or at least people who have been brainwashed by the same ads, that I have earned my sweaty grey T-shirt with “INSANITY” stamped on the chest.
So, how hard could it be? Standing fully dressed in the latest fitness gear in the comfort of my own living room, I engaged Shaun T to get my body back under control. 60 days of pure pain, sweat, tears and near-death experiences.
In order to earn the T-shirt, I had to take a picture of myself on day 1 and one on day 60. I lined up against the wall dressed in my brand new Nike shorts with the belly hanging slightly.
Time to get started!
Perhaps it was the imagination of his insane six-pack compared to my one gallon container? Or, perhaps his ridiculously marked and streamlined muscles, scattered all around his well formed (and tanned) body that made me wish for something higher too. Perhaps I could achieve this god-like body … or was my mind tarnished by the corrupt world of advertising? These creative bastards had roped me into the world of Shaun T.
The next 25 minutes were 8 ‘simple’ high pace exercises where I had to count my max reps. Basically, setting the bar for the next few weeks and hopefully see some progression.
Each exercise was full on for 1 minute then 1 minute rest.
So, how was the warm-up and fitness tests?
F***ing insane! That’s how hard this shit is. I do apologize for my language, but that’s how I felt after just the fitness test. Even the 3 minute warm up program on disc 1 was making the sweat emerge on my forehead like steam on a window.
Shaun T was pacing up and down the screen, motivating the audience (me), pushing me to do more with less – and I do stress less. 30 seconds in and I was lying flat on the floor, drenched in my own sweat and other melted bodily fluids. But, Shaun T made me stand up and ask for seconds.
I completed the warm-up and fitness test. Still alive, but barely moving. It was insane!
I have to admit. I will try again tomorrow to see if I can survive the real thing. Not sure I can keep up with Shaun T, but I’ll give it my best. I just hope my wife has 911 on speed dial.
Wish me luck 🙂