Our New Year celebrations are often small family parties or gatherings with close friends.  We eat well.  We drink well.  Kids run around laughing and playing, and we anxiously wait for the ball to drop in Times Square.

Friends and family send each other multiple text message, professing their love and best wishes for the new year.  Nowadays, Instagram and Facebook are flooded with various posts, wishing the World a better year, and pictures of happy/smiling people pop up, hugging people.

It is and should be a celebration.

We need to be thankful for the year that passed and look forward to the new year with renewed hope and happiness.

Unfortunately, I was not in the mood for such happy celebrations.  Seeing all these well wishes and happy people made me realize that I was doomed with my current illness.  I was not allowed to enjoy the festivities with a few drinks and I’m still recovering from my heart failure.  As such, seeing happiness reminded me of what I can not do.

Not that I’m an alcoholic, but a drink to celebrate is something I’ve always done and it makes me feel human.  And, being able to enjoy what I want to do without having to look at my Apple Watch + Fitbit for my heart rate, assess what we are eating to avoid salt intake and not drink alcohol to avoid a happy heart syndrome (doctor referred to that as some people overdo it and end up in hospital).

So, I sat on the sofa, in the darkness and wept a little.  Feeling sorry for myself, but also sorry to my family for being the party pooper.  We stayed home because I was not well.  We did not invite people over because I was not well.  We ate light/simple food to avoid salt intake.  We basically stayed in pajamas all evening.

Kids were of course allowed to stay up past midnight, or at least until the ball dropped.  At 5 mins past midnight, we turned off the lights and went to bed.

It was nice waking up early without a hangover.  It may sound silly, but a hangover would’ve been awesome, and then a full Irish breakfast to cure it.  Instead, I was up at 6.50am, had my healthy yogurt, decaf coffee, and my heart pills.  What a way to start 2019!

Anyway, I have to look at the positive side.  It’s bloody hard.  I am recovering well and that’s the main thing.  2019 will be great and I will be able to do fun stuff again.  It just takes time for me to recover.

I wish y’all the very best of health, happiness and good fortune in 2019.