Arctic Vortex – this time it’s personal!

Early January the US East coast was hit by severe freezing temperatures and the wise men at the weather forecast thingy quickly called it an Arctic Vortex.  Cold winds and other winter-like events started to occur, reminding me of ‘The Day After Tomorrow“.  I’ve always said that movie was based on true events!

Granted, New York wasn’t hit by a ridiculously large tidal wave that was followed by sub-sub-sub zero temperatures that then turned the East Coast into a large winter amusement park.  However, roads and traffic were hampered by the extra thick layer of snow – any ski enthusiast’s dream.

Lucky me, I missed most of the Arctic Vortex phenomenon as I had to go on a business travel to me ol’ homeland.  But, the missus made sure I was reminded daily how freakin’ cold it was and the getting the kids ready for school alone was not a peaceful experience.

A couple of weeks later, the Arctic Vortex returned – much to my enjoy!  This time it was personal and it seemed to be hanging around for longer.  In fact, it was sub-sub minus degrees for what feels weeks and even the squirrels were getting cold.

Hell, Michigan
Hell, Michigan

The worst thing about the freezing temperatures is not the fact that even Hell freezes over, but the fact that the wind makes it ten times as cold.  And, the freezing temperatures and the wind factor introduces some very unwanted experiences;

  • the dog’s pee turns to steam shower as the warmth is greeted by the Vortex
  • my beard is covered with frost after shovelling the driveway
  • shovelling the driveway is not as cool as it might sound
  • when the kids sneezes or coughs, and a little mucus hits their upper lip, then it freezes = snot popsicle
  • it’s much much easier to scoop up the dog poo in the garden
  • The windshield sprayers are frozen solid or it creates a layer of ice on the windscreen

I’m a bit of a viking, or at least I keep reminding myself of that fact, so for me these temperatures shouldn’t be a huge issue.  But, after having spent 16 years in Ireland, where they have two seasons (rain and more rain), my body has become fragile.

However, as long as you have dry socks everything will be alright!

Unfortunately that’s not the case.  The other morning I let out the dog, wearing just boxers and warm socks, and was greeted with a frost bite smack across my entire corpus.  Holy crap!  It was like being hugged by 7893 mini daggers all scratching their name in my superb masculine skin.  I instantly jumped into the heated area and waited patiently for the St Bernard to finish its business.

Still, we love having four seasons.  The kids can spend hours outside if dressed properly and the school might even close.  I do enjoy the summer a lot more, but spring is around the corner and warm thoughts are sent to my BBQ unit – we will reunite soon!

I survived a double Arctic Vortex!

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