The famous saying “life goes on” hits right in the bull’s eye. It does and it must go on. We cannot dwell on the past and we cannot let the past dictate our pursuit of happiness in the present and future.
The fact that others at times move on quicker can be rather soul drenching. Do they not understand that I’m still (at times) stuck in the past and fearing for the future?
When you go through a life-altering experience, like I did, you want everything and everyone to give you the attention you think you deserve. This attention can have both negative and positive effects on your mind.
Negative perspective – you keep reliving your trauma and force others to also relive it. While tempting, this will negatively impact your mental state and can, in my opinion, slow down your mental recovery.
Positive perspective – you keep reliving your trauma and by talking to people about, you get to rethink how you can improve, what you might have done ‘wrong’ to get to that state, and also work through the emotional rollercoaster you are on, and deal with your near-death experience.
Neutral perspective – you need emotional support. You need the odd hug and well wishes. You need to hear that people are happy you are still with them. All these give you a sense of belonging and reaffirms that you will not be forgotten if you had passed away.
I often feared that I would pass away, and no one expects close family would know or care. That hurts and leave some deep scars and worries. It feeds my anxiety, and then it reduces my speed of recovery.
You see, other people have an important role to play on your recovery. Mostly you need the signs from people that they care about you, but you also need the odd hug. These help you rebuild your soul and really help you move on.
While I would love to talk to my colleagues, telling my story over and over again, I also appreciate that they might not want to hear about my agony.
That is why I started this site, Viking Heart Within, to share my experiences.
With all that said, I’m still struggling with the fact that most people around me have moved on fully. They moved on to the next traumatic story from another person or event. Work is back to normal and colleagues are back stressing about the new release of a product, some challenges with stakeholders … they’ve moved on.
The fact is, the World does not revolve around me any longer
It is a good thing, I think. It means that I have healed and is somewhat back to normal. People can see that I’m better, and they smile when they see me. I’m working and socializing, although 50lbs lighter.
I guess that is fine, but I still need a hug 🙂
I cannot dwell in the past any longer. I’ve moved on and so should you. You should always feel comfortable to talk to some close friends about your experience, when you need, but also be prepared that good friends will check in on you. When that happens, you can feel your emotions swell up with happiness, and that gives you some extra endorphins and you gain new energy levels.
Welcome back to the World!