Fall and Rise of super dad

For the first time since having kids, my lovely wife let me sleep in last Sunday.  It was a bizarre feeling and I almost felt guilty … just almost.  I felt guilty because of all the hard work she puts in during the week, minding the kids while I’m off battling in the corporate World. I therefore tend to let her sleep in most weekends.  At least until the two oldest kids have had their breakfast.  Then I might let them back upstairs to greet their mum.

But, this time it was my turn and I was absolutely delighted.  Despite what my wife might say, if you’d ask her, I was already awake, but I just pretended to sleep.  I try that trick most mornings, but I fail miserably as the kids tickle me or I realise what time it is. It’s not easy to get up early on dark winter mornings.

Anyway, as I said, my wife thought it was a great idea if I slept in.  Why this change in behaviour?  Well, there are a few reasons for that decision.

  1. I had gone to bed hammered (also for the first time in a long time) as we had gathered most of her family in our house for a family get together, and I had tasted some of my lethal Caiparinha.
  2. I was impossible to wake up because of what happened above
  3. My breath was that of a dragon because of #1, and my wife decided not to get too close to me to wake me up – wise choice
  4. I had a splitting head ache and a minor hangover, which normally results in me being in a not so pleasant mood.

I must have looked like shit and smelled really bad, as even the kids stayed away from me that morning.  That said, despite my wife’s best efforts to keep the kids quiet, they managed to sing songs and wrestle right next to me.

I’ve said it so many times before, and to my friends that kids don’t care about hangovers.  It’s like a magnet.  Kids are drawn towards the hangover and it’s in their nature to make the victim feel even worse.  Deep inside, I think they find it amusing when I hide underneath the pillow, as if it would hide my corpus enormous. They either try to get me into the sunlight or they hide with me under the pillow and they start singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

The pain!  The horror!  My eyes burnt and my head was like a building site, full of jack hammers and metal banging.

Luckily, my wife persuaded the kids to evacuate the bedroom (the bedroom belonging to the parents that is) and dragged them downstairs.  From experience, it’s not easy getting 3 kids downstairs in a safe and secure manner.

The peace transcended on the master bedroom again and I could focus on my severe brain pain.  Even worse, I knew I had to get up soon.  I was awake anyway, so it was going to happen soon.

Suddenly, I could hear my daughter run into the hallway and jump up the first few steps on the stairs.  Then the most annoying sound emerged.  She had located the little bell we have in the kitchen, and she was ringing it loudly to announce that breakfast was ready.  The bell was chiming while she was shouting “Breakfast is ready!”.  Then a short silence.  She clearly needed re-assurance that her plan had worked and she shouted even louder “Daaaaaaaad, did you hear me?  Breakfast is reaaadyyyyyyyyyy”.

In hind-side, it was an extremely lovely gesture and so sweet, but at that very moment I felt like jumping out the window to get away from the most annoying sound in the World – especially considering I had the worst headache ever.

I instead crawled underneath the pillow, again, to seek some sanctuary from the chimes of hell.  This is probably how the Angus brothers (the legendary and awesome AC/DC) came up with the lyrics to “Hells Bell”.

11 minutes later, I wrapped myself in my duvet as a larvae. I rolled onto the cold wooden floor with a loud bump.  I wormed my way towards the bathroom and slithered into the bathtub, preparing to wash away the evil hangover.

A shower does wonders to your body, not only odour wise, but it refreshes your every cell and you can all of a sudden take on the World again.  My World has a beautiful wife and three loud (but amazing) kids.

The bathroom was full of steam as I jumped out of the shower, re-vitalised. I was ready to meet the family again.  The hangover / headache was still looming somewhere in the mighty head of mine, but it didn’t bother me.  I ran downstairs and I was greeted by the gang.

My wife had cooked a wonderful breakfast, made fresh coffee, fresh bread and she kissed me good morning.  Wow, what a start to the day, even if it was almost lunchtime.

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