The way to your woman’s heart…

It has for years been a lost art to buy presents for your girlfriends / wives, and it is something that we men struggle with every year.  I’ve browsed the Internet for years now, trying to find the right present for my wife, but the various results are based on me having €10 million or more in the bank.  And more so, what does the internet know anyway, it doesn’t know my wife.  So, I’m left to decide myself.

The classic items that most guys buy for their misses are lingerie.  I strongly believe, and I might write a thesis about this behavior one day, but most men tend to compare their wife with the shop assistant.  This is a classical schoolboy error, as the girl in the shop is NOT the same size as your wife.  As a result, men buy the wrong sizes, often way too small below and too big on top, which will have a negative impact on the mood of your wife.  Despite this known fact, men don’t seem to change their behaviors and continue to go to these exotic shops. The real reason is most likely that men go to these shops only to be able to look at half-naked women without getting into trouble.

I too have bought my share of sexy lingerie for my wife and she too would have to change the lingerie because of the sizes.  So, a few years ago I decided to do something about it and I wanted to buy her something special – don’t we all.  Guys, if you get it right, you get rewarded.  It is therefore in your interest too to make your wife happy.

In the name of sharing, here’s one for the guys, when buying presents to their girlfriends.  Making presents special, no matter the occasion, is essential.  You want brownie points, right?  So think about what you buy.  Buying presents to your partner is an International challenge, so this should work across the World.  These are successfully tested.

  • 5 Senses – it might not seem that romantic, but find something that will awaken her 5 senses.  One year, I bought my girl something for each of these senses, and my God did it work!  You can of course choose what you want, and it does not have to cost a fortune, as long as your wife will like it.  Here’s my list:
    • Sight; her favorite movie, “Giant” with James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor
    • Feel; extremely soft silk scarf
    • Smell; a new perfume
    • Hear; a music CD
    • Taste; cooked her dinner
  • Body Sensations – these would be presents that obviously focuses on her body, and NOT in a sexual way you pervert – so, no toys!!  I would recommend something more like:
    • Nice smelling soap
    • Soft body lotions
    • Body scrub soap and sponge
  • Natural Beauty – this can cover different events, but make sure you keep the presents the same. So if you want fashion then stick to a set of matching clothes, not multiple different shirts.  The same goes for make-up.  As you can see, this can be used for several birthdays, but do not use this theme twice in a row.
  • Sporty Spice – is an opportunity to get her some sports equipment.  Please be careful, as this can backfire if you buy her the wrong thing like a scale, too small sports clothes or a running machine.
  • Relaxation (my favorite) – is particularly useful if you’ve had your first child.  Your wife will be exhausted, so give her spa treatments or massage packages for a local spa.  She will REALLY appreciate this.

A lot of men would commit crimes against the female figures, by buying chocolate.  Chocolate will be accepted with a big smile, but as soon as the chocolate is gone, your wife will hate you – at least for a short while.  How could you be so cold!  She will blame you for gaining weight and then you will get the toughest question in the World, “Do I look fat in this dress?”. Mate, you are walking on very thin ice.

The best present I ever bought my wife, was on a holiday to Cancun (Mexico).   We had invited the in-laws to Mexico and on a particular day we went shopping – as you do with your wife.  My wife and her mother entered an exclusive gemstone shop.  I spotted some jewelry that I knew my wife would love, ring and ear-rings.  Sneaky as I am, I persuade my mother-in-law to get my wife to try the ring, as it is crucial to get the right size.  When we later that evening celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary, I gave her the present – bingo!  2 million brownie points for me.

I’ve never been a huge fan of flowers, mainly because it is so common, but also because it is VERY difficult to drive a scooter with a bouquet of flowers.  The odd surprise works much better, such as taking her out for dinner or asking her on a date to the cinema.  It doesn’t really matter if you’ve been going out for years, it is just the gesture of spending time alone.

This has worked well for me, but if anything in your plan backfires, after having used my suggestions, then I pledge the 5th Amendment (you do it on your own risk).


  1. I’m always find this focus on “romantic” gifts – lingerie, flowers, perfume, jewelry. Maybe it’s just that I’m getting old (and have spent 24 years with the same woman), but I find I have much better luck with more practical gift. That winter coat she saw but didn’t want to foot the bill for. The Garmin bicycle GPS for her sports bike, so she can plan and map her trips, upload and share trips, etc. That slightly obscure Japanese graphic novel that got rave reviews.

    The point here is gifts that are specific to her and her. Not gifts for women, but gifts that reflect her interests, maybe even something that only you would know about. I’m not married to a generic woman; I’m married to a woman I know very well and who has some unique interests and ideas, and with whom I have a long history of shared conversations.

    As for the lingerie, I would much rather she buy it and wear it for my birthday. Unwrapping your presents is part of the fun, after all.

  2. Thank you for your thoughtfulness about gift giving. 🙂 You seem to have paid close attention to your wife’s responses to gifts as well as having a good awareness of who she is. This is key to touching her heart with gifts. I know that for me personally, if I know the thought that went into the gift, it doesn’t really matter what the gift is – it is the intent and story that comes with it. Some of the most memorable and touching gifts I ever received were the ones that were small in size, but big in thoughtfulness. To this day, when I smell peppermint scented candles, I smile. My husband knew I loved candles when we got married. He bought one for me our first married Christmas. It was one of the most remembered things he has ever given me.

    • For my wife’s recent birthday, I created a picture book for her, capturing the first 2 years of the lives of our kids. She was extremely happy and surprised, and this reminded her of the wonderful family she (we) started together.

  3. I love the idea with 5 senses! A very good one! I was never really aware of how problematic women are when it comes to gifts until I started helping my dad pick sth for my mum. Oh boy! How many times can one buy perfumes/books/jewellery? And so many different occasions during the year: her birthday, anniversary, x-mas, easter…I will copy your list and give it to my dad – hopefully it helps him! 🙂

    • It’s not a question of women being problematic, but I need to make sure my wife is surprised and happy when receiving gifts. If these become a routine, then the element of surprise is lost 🙂

  4. Wow, Judgebrix, I wish I came across this a few years ago. These words are as wise as they are golden.
    I totally agree on the flowers… after a couple of years and probably over a thousand dollars, my wife told me that she never really cared for them! So whilst I thought I was doing something nice and thoughtful… she was probably thinking ‘OMG.. not again!’.

    I have always ‘struggled’ with buying presents for our anniversary or birthday.
    The 5 senses sounds magic – I’m borrowing that this year!
    Thanks mate!!

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