Pregnancy for men, third child…

The middle of 2009 was the time the fecking recession hit our family and where we had to take certain measures to reduce luxury spending. It unfortunately included traveling abroad.  So, there are a lot more staying at home evenings and short excursions around Ireland.  Nothing wrong with that, we actually have had a blast on our excursions.  So, in mid September we happily informed our families that we were expecting our third child.

So, how did family and friends react to the news – again?  Well my parents were initially excited (for the first 5 seconds of the phone call that is) on our behalf, but then my mum asked “… how do I do this on the Mac?”.  You have to expect that friends and family are no longer as excited on your behalf, as with the first two, but by large they were all very happy for us even if they were somewhat surprised that we were planning this during a recession.  In my opinion, having a baby doesn’t really impact the recession.

Some would say that the novelty of having a baby wears off when having kid number 2 and by kid number 3 it is just something that has to be done.  WRONG! Your wife (or girlfriend) will experience new pregnancy symptoms that she swears she didn’t feel before or she might say that this baby is much better.  However, from talking to other families with three kids, the third pregnancy is for some reason worse. Everything seems to be intensified, including your wife’s short-fused temper.  And on top of that, you still have to mind the other two kids!

My wife previously never really experienced morning sickness. This pregnancy ensured that my wife felt morning sickness with a vengeance.  For the record, morning sickness is not only restricted to the morning. My wife was getting sick throughout the day… (evil laughter)

As an example, I’m Danish and enjoy pork meatballs, pork chops, pork roast, pork sausages, etc.  BUT, my dear lovely pregnant wife developed a certain nausea whenever I cooked anything with pork.  This resulted in us eating couscous, shitload of pasta, fish, poultry, vegetarian food and beef.  Every time she smelled heated pork (fried, roasted, nuked, me, etc.) she almost vomited (sometimes she did).

Previously my wife would have craved and eaten anything that we had, but this time it was more controlled – for a while at least.  Her portions increased gradually during the pregnancy, but because of the busy schedule with the other two kids, she walked off most of the food quickly.  However, she developed a worrying fetish for crackers with pate, fresh lemonade and all kinds of fruits. She was eating very healthy this time.

One of the enjoyable side effects of being pregnant, well more after giving birth, is that my wife suffers from the Dolly Parton syndrome.  Depending on the milk production, the breasts swell up to oversized proportions.  Unfortunately this is for show only, as they apparently get really sensitive due to the pressure produced by the milk inside.

A less attractive side of the Dolly Parton syndrome is that your wife (partner or girlfriend) starts lactating and needs to relieve the pressure either by breastfeeding or pumping.  The latter can be somewhat frustrating at times.  While you are watching a thriller or horror movie, you all of a sudden hear this humming / buzzing / squeezing noise, only to discover that your girl is milking herself.  Nothing sexy about breasts making farting sounds. It can ruin the suspense in any movie.

After the baby was born, we had 2 hours to ourselves while all the kids had gone to bed, so we had some nice food I cooked.  We were chatting away and I was enjoying a glass of wine – ahhhh, just like old times.  But, instead of a nice dessert, my wife pulled out the breast pump and started extracting milk.  At that moment, you realise that romantic dinners will not be the same for a while.
Our freezer is full of breastmilk, and I’ve considered making ice-cream, cheese and other dairy products from it, but I’m not sure how our guests will react.  Also, it tastes rather funny in coffee.

During the pregnancy, my wife had to have her fluids in the womb checked.  This is test is called the amniocentesis test and is basically a needle inserted in the womb (through the belly) and the fluids are analysed.  The main purpose is to test for any chromosomal abnormalities such as Down Syndrome. The test is conducted mainly on women over 40 or if you have a child with e.g. Down Syndrome.  Our son was born with Down Syndrome, so we had to get it done… click here to read about the Needle in the Belly.

Another thing is that when a woman is pregnant, no matter if it is the first, second or third, she gets REALLY tired.  I have on multiple occasions attempted to have conversations with my wife, only to discover that she has fallen asleep and she is sitting in the sofa drooling.  Again, you love your wife for better and for worse, so I simply place a towel under her chin and let her sleep.

Despite this sleep issue, my wife refuses to go to bed before 21.00 – “Only kids go to bed before 9 o’clock news”, she says.  And then she wonders why she’s exhausted the next day.  In fact, I can’t drag her out of bed and she does not complain about my snoring any more. She is so far away in Never Never Land that not even Peter Pan knows where she is.

The ever lasting question during our third pregnancy (please note that I said our) was whether the baby would come early like the other two, or if this one would come on time.  We just wanted the baby to be born closer to the due date this time. Our families were more interested whether it would be a boy or a girl. We didn’t mind if we were having a boy or a child, but various family members started to bet early in the term.

One thing I “missed”, but my wife didn’t, was meeting the doctor for her monthly / bi-weekly check-ups.   Despite working with sensitive women, hormones and mood swings, he said things as he saw them.  He cracks me up, but I had to laugh inside, otherwise my wife would beat me up after the sessions.

Anyways, we were of course very excited and looked very much forward to our third wonder.

——- Suggested reading:
Ready or Not!” – a star is born

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