This post was borrowed from social media, where it flourished and made people smile. I have adjusted and added it bit, but cannot take credit for this fun piece.
I hope there is still life out there!
We are still alive, although cabin fever is starting to kick in, and kids are driving me bunkers with prolonged Monopoly demands. How many times can we play this game, and yet the outcome is the same; crying kids as I drain their money pile and wife turning to drink as she has to decide on hotels or 4 houses per lot she owns.
We are still alive!
Despite the hoarding going on, we managed to get the base essentials, although we might need to start rationing the food as we only have enough for another 378 days. Thank god beans and pasta has no expiration date.
I’m worried about the toilet paper. According to my calculations, we have roughly another 488 days left of toilet paper. Not critically low, but we have to consider alternatives in case we do run out.
I’m afraid my butthole is getting soar with all the wiping, but we have enough lotion to soothe the pain and calm down any nappy rash.
We have no weapons – my wife does not believe in guns or ammunition, so will have to sharpen the garden machete and hatchets, just in case, and left the kids’ baseball bat by the front door.
The house smells like a dentist’s office and my hands are super dry due to the high alcohol levels in the cleaning materials. I wish I had bought more hand lotion as it is important to have smooth and soft hands during any crisis.
I haven’t seen any of our neighbors, but never really did before this virus either.
That said, we miss human interaction but are grateful for the internet, Skype, Facebook, Instagram, and Facetime. At least we have some social interaction and can consume some alcohol with close friends at a distance.
Not too sure what we would have done without Netflix, Prime, Disney+, HBO and other streaming platforms. I do worry that I might have to revisit some shows again in the near future, especially survival shows.
Do they have a show about urban survival?
I vow to persevere to the end, I am a survivor!
Please, if there is life out there, communicate with me to help preserve my sanity.