Pimp up my play date is probably a more accurate title of this post, as it’s an introduction to the weird and wonderful world of too spoiled kids.

Our daughter had invited over her FSBFF (filthy spoiled BFF) and we were delighted to have the girls hang out at our crib.  They normally listen to music, draw, chat or watch a movie, and it gives us parents a chance to relax with the other two kids.

The doorbell rang and there was the BFF with her hair freshly done by the hair dresser and nails nicely decorated.  The girls smiled at each other and were clearly happy to be able to spend some time together.  But, the visitor refused to enter our house until the dog had been removed.  So, it was banished to the decking and the girl entered.

They quickly ran upstairs and were laughing all the way up … and were playing for at least the next 7 minutes.

Suddenly the girls stood behind me in the kitchen.  I must admit, I was really impressed by their ninja abilities.

The girls were asking for a snack, so I gave them the choice between popcorn, popcorn and salted popcorn.  Of course homemade before you ask.

Unfortunately the FSBFF was more in the mood for a bagel from our local dealer. She wanted me to go and buy it for her, which I kindly declined to do.

It turned out that the girl had not eaten lunch and was somewhat demanding to be fed.

However, we normally do grocery shopping on Sundays, so we had practically nothing in the fridge … again, much to the disappointment of the FSBFF.

I offered; fruit, Irish sodabread with butter, noodles, pasta with ketchup, carrot, cereal, flatbread with butter, pear, raw rice, canned tuna or popcorn.

Nothing from that menu pleased the FSBFF. She wanted me to cook a real meal for her to which I replied “tough miss, it’s what we have or a piece of bark from the forest!”

As quickly as they had appeared, as quickly did they vanish again.

Some negotiations had taken place and they now agreed to the royal dish ‘pasta a la ketchup‘ sprinkled with some industrial cheddar cheese.

Of course they couldn’t be present when I prepared the pasta, but they made sure to check in on a regular basis, ensuring that it was progressing.

As I served the pasta, the FSBFF requested Parmesan cheese.  Obviously this girl had class, I thought, so I gave her a piece of Parmesan and the grater.

The look on her face when she realized she had to grate her own Parmesan cheese was priceless. The parmesan cheese had to come from a can, she said.

I then gave her our available options “milk our St Bernard and make your own mozzarella, grate the parmesan cheese yourself or eat the industrial cheddar cheese“.  She opt’d for the latter and munched away on her animal shaped pasta.

Having eaten this royal dish, they ascended on the sofa and put on a movie.  Shortly after the FSBFF was collected by her male babysitter or perhaps he was the nanny.

It’ll probably be a while before this girl visits us again.  It was not my intention to disappoint anybody, but in our house you eat at the agreed mealtimes, eat what you are presented or you don’t eat at all.