No Pain, No Gain!

Big Moment – Part 2 … continued from Part 1.

If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, then you need to do so, as this will give you some useful background information in regards to the tense moment we were going through.  Just do it!  Click above link.

The amount of medical staff around my wife’s bed in the delivery ward had increased from 4 to 10 within minutes of the nurse claiming to have seen the foot of the baby.  At this point, I was starting to feel slightly lightheaded and was VERY unsure about what the next few minutes and/or hours would bring.


This is not exactly something you learn in the pre-natal classes or in any “What to Expect, When Expecting” book.  You have to learn it the hard way.  Some of the nurses had just started their career, so they were equally white faced and fretting.  This in turn caused the midwife to turn into Nanny McPhee, in regards to facial expressions, causing the young nurses to panic.

While the nurses were freaking, there were 3 people looking under the sheet between my wife’s legs, discussing what to do.  Thankfully, one of the senior consultants made a decision to get her into surgery immediately – no time to spare.

I was trying to help, but was constantly in the way, as I was lying in teal position under my wife’s bed.  The midwife suddenly grabbed me by the neck and pulled me against the wall – “Pull yourself together man, we need everyone to be CALM!”  Then she did a summersault over the bed, and started to push the bed down the corridor towards the elevator.  Man, she was like the woman from Matrix … expect she was old, wearing a doctors coat, nerd glasses and smelling like a chemistry.

As we arrived at the elevator, we had to wait for the fecking thing.  I was frantically hitting the button on the wall, until some clever nurse inserted her emergency lift key.  It still amazes me that we had to take the elevator to the surgery room.  Couldn’t they have had the delivery ward and surgery room on the same floor?  It reminded me of the scene in “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” where they are in the elevator listening to background (elevator) music, just before the action happens.

I was dragged up the stairs by some energetic fitness freak of a nurse, not considering I haven’t done any exercise for 7-8 years – other than the Wii – so my face was quickly turning red.  She placed me on some silly little bench outside the Operating Room (OR).  The OR was not even ready, so now the group of people surrounding my wife had grown to 20, including the cleaners.

An innocent anesthetics assistant was trying to give my wife some liquid to drink, but my wife made it perfectly clear that she did NOT want it.  His face went from cheerful to somewhat distraught.

LEGO Operating RoomThe next few minutes went by very quickly – at least for me.  The OR doors were closed and locked.  I was not allowed in, simply too many people and too much pain.  However, I was at that moment in time cursed for being able to hear, and the sounds made the “Saw” series sound like Disney;  Foul language, screams, doctors raised voices, flashing lights and shadows walking past the glass door.

Out of the mist created by the warm OR, came a nurse walking towards me.  Her eyes had seen things no man should ever see, and she gently asked me if I was ok.  Of course I wasn’t.  Couldn’t she tell that I was an emotional wreck, biting frantically at the bench, while peeing my pants and crying?   Anyway, I stood up and smiled, “Yes, I’m ok, thanks for asking.  Can I have some water please?”

Suddenly the OR went silent, the doors were unlocked and opened.  The doctor came over to me and said congratulations.  My wife had given birth to a little girl.  I shook the doctors hand hard, but soon realised that he was still wearing the gloves he had used during the procedure!

20 minutes old

I was escorted into the OR, where I was greeted by my wife and gave her a kiss.  Then we were handed the little bundle and I cried (again) when I looked our new daughter in the eyes.  Thankfully she looked like my wife.  Despite the ordeal my wife had gone through, she still managed to look gorgeous – even with her legs strapped to two poles.  I smiled at her and said “We did it.  Where can we get a pair of those poles for our house”, and winked.  That made her laugh.

Can I just say, all this happened in less than 20 of arriving to the hospital!  My nerves just can handle this anymore – no more kids.

I was asked to go to the ward and wait.  The girls would be rolled down as soon as they were ready.  My wife was of course offered the traditional cup of tea and toast – I didn’t get anything.

The nurse on the ward asked me to change the baby!  What clothes and which diapers?  In the panic and rush, my wife had grabbed the wrong bags and as a result we had nothing for the baby.  As soon as my wife arrived, I kissed her again and had to go home to get clothes – under strict orders by the nurse.

On the way home, I cried again, making my helmet all misty, overwhelmed with emotions.  It is not easy becoming a dad again.

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